I’d been very uncomfortable and having waves a few days before with some pinky mucus when going to the toilet.
At 1 am on morning I felt a wave that was painful and woke me up. had another and felt my waters pop in bed.
I texted my midwife and doula, as I was feeling really nervous about the birth. I snook downstairs and lit a candle, put some music on and boiled the kettle. My midwife and doula arrived about We had a chat and some tea.
Over the next 90 minutes I probably had between 5 and 10 waves that were getting a bit longer and more painful. I put my tens machine on and was just walking around going up and downstairs to the loo. I was swaying my body and blowing everything. I also did some leaning on yoga ball with the push chair foot muffs under my knees as they were the first thing to hand.
At I asked if we could get the gas and air out. I didn’t feel I was desperate for pain relief but I was just so anxious I needed something to help me relax. I had two waves on all fours with the gas and air - deep breaths - then put it down as I wanted to stay in control. With the next one I had an urge to take my pants off. It didn’t feel like baby was coming, I just had to get my pants off. And then with the next contraction I made a little pushing noise but again didn’t think that could be happening so soon. With the next wave, my midwife was putting mats under me and asking if I needed to push. I couldn’t believe it. I did give a push and the baby started to come.
I panicked “I can’t do this!” I remember saying. I then asked my doula to get my husband who was still asleep upstairs and oblivious to what had been going on. She also brought some towels down. I felt the baby's head coming out but the wave ended, so my midwife reminded me to listen to my body and to let that one go. With the next wave I felt this big push and the baby started to come out. I may have had two more strong, powerful, waves on all fours and leaned more forward and reached under with my right hand to feel baby emerging.
It was strange because I was pushing in my bottom but obviously that’s not where baby was coming out of! I was in another place at that point. All I could hear was the music and I felt as if I was birthing to the music - it was like a dance to bring my baby out. It was a very surreal experience. I also had the word “complete” repeating in my head. Everything felt so perfect as she was coming earthside.
When baby was out I sat on the floor. I remember thinking that was the worst and best experience of my life both at the same time. Everything felt so perfect and complete like the whole universe was in alignment.
A few minutes later I kneeled up and placenta came out. I had an injection as midwife said I’d had a larger than average bleed but I think everything just came out at once as hardly had any blood since. The second midwife arrived just as we were heading back upstairs to get comfortable. They checked me and I just had a graze which will heal on it’s own.
My doula and midwife (who works independently) always had so much confidence in my body and said it was very efficient. And yet I’d spent the pregnancy terrified of the birth
It’s been a healing experience and it’s given me back my own body confidence. I do believe having birth supporters who I know and trust and made all the difference. They are absolute gold dust. They also helped me feel confident in my decision to stay at home after the birth as I’d had a larger than average blood loss and tested positive for group b strep in pregnancy.
I don’t know if this is my last birth but I’m currently feeling very content