Connie's story - Elliot's healing birth

My story is a little unusual...

My first child, my daughter, was born in a midwifery led unit in 2012 and all went well. Admittedly my labour lasted a very long time and hospitals make me very anxious (the likely reason for said length!). But at that time I didn’t have the courage to request a home felt so culturally “swimming upstream” even though in my heart it felt right for me.

My second child was on the way in 2014 and I was planning on giving birth again on the midwife-led unit. But tragedy struck when at 16 weeks pregnant my husband died very suddenly and unexpectedly. It was from an asymptomatic genetic cardiac disease called Brugada was considered a sudden adult death.

I was completely heartbroken and couldn’t bear the thought of having our son in the same hospital where my husband and I had become parents for the first time...

So I requested a home birth. It felt like the right thing, at a time when I felt incredibly vulnerable and frightened. Thankfully my wider family and community midwife team were amazingly supportive, and a friend introduced me to an incredible woman called Roberta Jess who was an experienced midwife and home birth advocate.

She had also suffered the loss of her husband 30+ years ago whilst heavily pregnant, and she agreed to be my birthing partner. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to stand in my husband’s place. 

Elliott was born on 28th May at home, on a beautiful sunny day, in a birthing pool in my kitchen. It was genuinely spiritual, wonderful, empowering and healing. 

Family and friends were able to gather around me very shortly after he arrived, I never felt left alone, and the comfort of being in my own safe space was worth more than I could ever quantify in words. Ever since I have become such a strong advocate for home birth—my own experience was as close to perfect as I could have hoped for in my difficult circumstances.

A few years passed and I met a wonderful man who fell in love with all three of us, we got married last year and I am currently 39 weeks pregnant (today!), awaiting the arrival our newest member of the family, due to be born at home like his brother! I am excited to have the chance to do this again, so thankful and full of hope, knowing how wonderful my previous experience was even in the absence of my late husband. 

Hopefully I’ll have some new (slightly better quality!) homebirth photos to add to my collection imminently!